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PARENTS LIFE AND LIVING

irectly involveParents are the ones who show genuine love to a person.A person can expect unconditional love only from his mother and father.In most civilized societies, parents take a great care in upbringing their children.They are the ones who help the child over come his negative attributes and insufficiency.A child with good parenting rarely fails in life.
In many people’s success, the role of parents is the key. You can even notice many world leaders and philosophers describing the role of their parents in their life.
Parents give many things to their children and are directly involved in child development.Without parents it would be very tough for any one to have a better life.
Parents are the sole people from whom a child can expect unconditional love.
Without them he is unfulfilled in life. He becomes a loner and faces many hardships in life.

Since human is a social animal, just like food and air, love and care are another elements which are absolutely necessary. They are the people who share you happiness and sorrow equally. If you weep they do and if you laugh they do.
Many people have good or sufficient financial support only because of parents. This helps them to perceive education and other hobbies without worry or having to work for making a living. This financial support also puts them ahead in the start up with reference to business or position in the companies. Hence many young people in the level of directors or other higher posts in a company are children of the company founders.

Parents give moral support to the child in case of failure. During some accident or love failure or divorce, having parents besides is a great boon. They provide instant moral support and strength to tackle the situation. They are the people whom can console you and putFamily is the integral part of everyone home. The family of any person starts with parents itself. Latter on he gets his spouse and children to live with him. In countries with established family trends we can notice this. Even parents conduct the marriage of their children,. They create awareness and requirement of marriage for life. Further they in many families they select the suitable groom or bride for marriage. Even in the early days of marriage, initial differences in marriages between partners also overcome due to support and suggestions from parents. Hence we see the divorce rate is lower in arranged marriages than in love marriages.

They guide him right direction and makes it easy for him to succeed. They even teach them the value of deceplene and relationships. Hence we see many people succeed due to god fathers behind. If one tries to check the personal life stories of successful people, we can realize the extent their parents helped them climb the ladder of success.

Educated parents help their children in moving in right direction in their career. They understand the child strengths and weaknesses and guide him right path. They also help the kid solve his home work and also encourage any extra-curricular skills in him. HenceYour Childhood Affects How You’ll Parent
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Nothing turns one’s focus toward the future more than having a child. Most parents who look into the eyes of their new baby see whatever lies ahead as a clean slate. The biggest predictor of how we will perform as parents is how much we’ve been able to make sense out of our own past. So, while the last place we may look when we become parents is our ownchildhood, we should do so if we want to be better present-day parents to our children.
Even though what happened to us in childhood shows up in our parenting, this doesn’t mean we are doomed to repeat the mistakes of our parents. In fact, no matter what distress or even trauma we endured in early life, what matters most is how much we’ve been able to feel the full pain of our childhood and create a coherent narrative of our experience. By processing what happened to us, we are better able to relate to our own kids and provide the nurturance they need. We can come to recognize that our “instinctive” reactions are not always representative of how we want to parent. And we can start to understand why our kids trigger us the way they do.
This process isn’t about blaming our parents. Our parents were people; all individuals are flawed, with positive traits we aim to emulate and negative ones we’d like to find freedom from. Yet recognizing the ways our parents or other influential caretakers affected us is part of growing up and becoming our own person. With this in mind, we can start to notice the ways our history infiltrates our parenting style, distorts our behavior, and potentially hurts both ourselves and our children.
Here are 7 ways our childhood can affect how we parent said Lisa Firestone who is a popular clinical psychologist, author, and the Director of Research and Education for the Glendon Association.

1. Imitating.
When we become parents, we start to notice in ourselves negative traits that are similar to our parents. Our kid spills something, and we shout, “Now look what you’ve done!” It may be an expression we’ve never even used but one we often heard in our childhood household. We may have learned plenty of good things from our parents, but we hurt our children when we fail to recognize the ways we repeat the maladaptive treatment of our parents. An extreme example of this is physical punishment. Many parents justify hitting their child simply because that’s the way their parents disciplined them, dismissing that there are countless proven studies (link is external)showing that corporal punishment only has detrimental effects. We shouldn’t justify harmful actions, big or small, because we learned them from our parents. Instead, we should aim to be the generation that breaks the cycle.
2. Overreacting.
We may react to a destructive early environment by trying to compensate for or rebel against our parents’ way of treating us. We may be well-intentioned when we try to do it differently, but we often inadvertently go overboard. For example, if our parents were overbearing, we may react by being too hands-off with our kids. While we felt intruded on growing up, our children may feel neglected. When we swing too far the other way, we are still distorting our behavior based on our history. Rather than deciding on the qualities that matter to us, we are still reacting to things that happened to us.
3. Projecting.
Much of the reason we overcompensate for our parents’ mistakes is that we project ourselves or how we felt as kids onto our children. We may see them as our parents saw us, as “wild” or “incapable.” We may typecast them as the “bad kid” or the “baby.” We may feel sorry for them, projecting that they hurt in the same ways we once hurt or are angry in the same ways we once were. When we see our kids as extensions of ourselves, we then put pressure on them to either be like us or excel in ways we weren’t able to. We may expect them to carry on our own dreams or pursue our interests, rather than finding their own. When we project ourselves onto our kids, we fail to see them as the distinct individuals they truly are. We may miss the mark—meeting the “needs” we think they have rather than providing an attuned response to them and behaving as if we are parenting our childhood selves.
4. Recreating.
For many, it can be hard to trace the ways we recreate our early emotional environment in our adult lives. However, even if our early circumstances were unfavorable, we developed certain psychological defenses that may cause us to seek out these same circumstances when we start our own family. For example, we may subconsciously choose a partner who replicates a dynamic from our past. We may find ourselves seeking rejection, the same way we felt rejected as kids. These situations may not be pleasant, but they have a familiarity that we may be unconsciously drawn to. As kids, disagreeing with or fearing a parent can feel life-threatening. As a result, we may internalize our parent’s point of view or create a familiar family environment for ourselves in adulthood. This replication ultimately exposes our children to the negative atmosphere of our own childhood.
5. Being defended.
The adaptations we constructed to get through tough times as kids can becomepsychological defenses(link is external) affecting us throughout our lives. These early adaptations may have served us well when we were young, but they can hurt us as adults, particularly as parents. For example, if we had a parent who was rejecting or frightening, we may have kept to ourselves as kids, feeling self-sufficient and not really wanting much from anyone. This may have helped us get our needs met in our early years when we were dependent on our parents for survival, but as an adult, this attitude can limit our relationships. We may have trouble opening up and being nurturing toward our own children. We may have trouble accepting love from them. Part of growing up means knowing our defenses and finding ways to live free of these early overlays on our personality, discovering who we really are and what we really want. How do we want to be with our own children? What example do we want to create for them?
6. Getting triggered.
No matter how good our intentions, we are bound to feel triggered by our kids at moments of frustration. We are often stirred up or provoked by current day situations that remind us of pain from our past, even if we are not conscious of what is creating the distressing feelings. Often in these moments we feel transported back into the old, painful situation. We may act out in ways that are either parental or childish, but we aren’t really being ourselves. For instance, when a child doesn’t behave, we may “lose it” the same way our parent was enraged toward us, or we may feel terrified the way we felt as kids when we were punished by our parents. When you have intense or seemingly exaggerated reactions to your children, look back at what about your own experience could inform the current situation.
7. Listening to a critical inner voice.
Our insecurities and self-attacks tend to be cranked up when we become parents, because having our own kids reminds us of when and where we developed these self-perceptions in the first place. Our “critical inner voice(link is external)” starts to take shape very early in our development when we internalize negative attitudes our parents had toward us and themselves. Perhaps as children, we felt unwanted or powerless. Then, as an adult, we continue to see ourselves as undesirable and weak. When trying to be strong with our own kids, we may feel bombarded with critical inner-voice attacks that make it difficult to think clearly or act rationally—thoughts like, “You can’t control him,” or, “She hates you. You’re a terrible mother!” Or if we had a father who felt ill-equipped to deal with us when we were born, we may find ourselves hearing voices like, “How are you going to take care of this baby? You don’t know how to be a father.” These critical inner voices are the dialogue of a sadistic coach we all have internalized to some degree. The more we can challenge this inner enemy, the freer we will be to decide how we really want to act, and the less likely we will be to pass this line of thinking on to our children.

They gave you the life plan they followed. Sure, it didn’t work out AMAZINGLY well for them, but they’re happy enough.
Surely, you just need to follow the same life plan as them and with a bit of luck, you’re going to be confident, strong, happy, fulfilled, and free. Right?
Right?
Unfortunately, no. Happiness doesn’t work like that.
Living someone else’s life plan is the fastest and most consistent path to an unfulfilling, unrewarding, and frustrating existence.
You only have to open your eyes and walk through the financial districts of any major city and watch the frustrated, robotic ways people struggle through their life…
Or pay attention to the disappointed, sad, and angry guys trying to forget their pain in the bottom of a beer bottle to see how well living someone else’s life plan works.
I don’t know you and we’ve never really spoken but I’m sure that’s not the life you want.
But if seeing the pain and frustration that everyone else is going through isn’t enough to get you off that path and convince you to start walking your own journey

why we need to leave our parents life plan behind and start to forge our own destiny.

1. No-one will ever love, admire, or be inspired by you
If you’re walking the exact same path as 95% of guys in your world, how is the woman of your dreams supposed to tell you apart from every other guy?
What qualities will she see in you that she doesn’t see in the guy in the cubicle across the hall?
What characteristics will she fall for in you that she can’t see in most guys in the bar?
What traits will she describe to her friends when she talks about this new guy she’s met?
“Yeah, he’s pretty much like every other guy I know. He goes to work, comes home, watches TV, goes out drinking on Friday and Saturday nights and complains about ‘a case of the Mondays’ when he’s hungover on Monday morning. He doesn’t like his life but he gets up every day and does it over and over again.”
Sure, you might be persistent, but is persistence enough to compensate for the lack of excitement, fulfilment, happiness, and freedom?
I don’t think so.
If you follow your parents life plan, no one will ever love you because there will be nothing to love.
No one will ever admire you because there’s nothing admirable about you.
No one will ever be inspired by you because there’s nothing inspirational about you.
You’re the same average Joe as most of the male population of the world and the confident, beautiful, in-demand women you want are going to treat you like that.
You will never end up with an exceptional woman because there will be nothing exceptional about you.
You will never end up with the woman of your dreams because you’re not the Man of her dreams.
Your relationships will be filled with mediocre people who rely on other people to determine their sense of self worth and direction and who’re trying to depend on other people to make them happy.
Does that sound like the kind of future you want?
Your parents life plan will guarantee that you will never truly be loved because there’s nothing to love about you. If you ever want to be loved, you need to drop it now.

2. Living a middle of the road life will give a middle of the road life
I want you to imagine the kind future that’s rewarding, fulfilling, and satisfying – what does it look like?
Who’s in it? What are they doing? What kind of people are they?
Where do you live? How do you start your day? Where do you work? When do you finish? What do you do in all your free time?
And does it look anything like the inevitable end point of your parents life plan?
If you’ve been following your parents life plan, you might have a hard time coming up with a complete picture of the future you really want, so let me make it easy for you:
Is your dream future one where you wake up every day to the sound of a screeching alarm clock, next to a woman you don’t really love but are with because it’s better than being alone, signalling that it’s time to disguise yourself in the same uniform you’ve been wearing for the last 20 years and head to an office that you hate, so you have enough money to get drunk on the weekend and forget the pain and frustration you’ve experienced in earning that money?
No, I didn’t think so.
Following a mediocre life plan will at best, result in a mediocre life. At worst, you’re in for 50 years of torture before retiring on all the cash you’ve saved, but because you’ve spent the last 50 years doing what everyone else told you to, you have no idea how to enjoy it.

3. You will never be remembered
Very few people remember the name of the guy who came second in the 100m final at the 1988 Olympics.
No one remembers the name of the guy who sat on his couch at home, watching it alone before heading off to bed to start another work day that will be painfully close to the day he just completed.
If you follow your parents life plan, you will never be remembered because there will be nothing to remember about you.
Trying to pick you out of a crowded memory of average people will be like trying to tell the 126 different shades of beige apart on the paint store colour palate.
When there’s nothing memorable about you, no one will waste valuable memory space on you.
Living your parents life plan will mean no one will ever remember you. If you ever want to be memorable, you need to drop it now.

4. There’s far more competition for our parents goals and aspirations for us
The mediocre life is the path where you’ll face the greatest amount of competition.
95% of the university graduates are competing for that entry level position in the accounting firm.
95% of new recruits have aspirations of making it to middle and upper management.
95% of bored and frustrated office staff try to take their 4 weeks annual leave over the summer period in a tropical paradise that they never see because they’re too busy sipping Mai Tai’s by the pool in their unnecessarily expensive hotel room.
But what percentage of people are building a life changing smart phone app that will bring happiness and joy to thousands of people all around the world?
What percentage of people are trying to play basketball with President of the United States?
What percentage of people are really in touch with what makes them happy, fulfilled, and free and following that vision?
What percentage of people are creating a passive and scalable income stream that allows them to travel the world, whenever they want, doing whatever they want, without ever having to think about where their next meal is going to come from?
The path to mediocrity has the greatest amount of competition. It’s where everyone’s walking. It’s what everyone is doing.
It’s the path of MOST resistance. It’s the path of frustration. It’s the path of unnecessarily hard work. It’s the path of struggle.
But only a very small amount of people are shooting for the stars. Only a tiny group are bucking the trend and forging their own journey.
Sure, there’s no roadmap and no guarantees, but at least you won’t be competing with 95% of the population for something you never really wanted in the first place.
Your parents life plan is the path with the most competition. If you don’t want to spend the rest of your life competing against huge amounts of people for something you didn’t want in the first place, you need to drop it now.

5. Our parents life plan will never be fulfilling
An activity in itself is never fulfilling.
Communicating with words and listening to a response is not inherently fulfilling.
Nailing two bits of wood together is not inherently fulfilling.
Fulfilment comes from the meaning that those actions have to you.
If you’re communicating with a close friend about basic arithmetic then it’s probably not going to be fulfilling.
But if you’re communicating with a close friend about the pain they’re going through after breaking up with their girlfriend and you’re able to find a solution that makes them feel happier, more confident, and more connected, then that will be fulfilling.
If you’re nailing two pieces of timber together because you had nothing else to do with your time and all you could find to occupy your mind was a hammer, a few nails, and two broken tree branches, then it’s probably not going to be fulfilling.
But, if the two pieces of timber you’re nailing together form the apex of a new roof you’re just about to complete on the house you’re constructing for you and your family to live in, then it’s going to be rewarding.
Actions themselves are never fulfilling. It’s the meaning and significance of an action that makes it fulfilling.
This means that in order for anything to be fulfilling, you need to know what means a lot to you and what is of most significance and then follow through on it.
This will never happen whilst you’re following a mediocre life plan.
For one, your parents life plan eliminates the need for you to think about what is significant to you. Your goals and priorities are dictated by other peoples perceptions and beliefs so you don’t even need to consider them.
And secondly, action in any area outside your parents life plan is discouraged because “It’s a waste of time…”
Following your parents life plan is the least rewarding and fulfilling way to live your life. If you don’t want to go through life empty and unfulfilled, you need to stop it now.

6. Our parents life plan will never make us feel in control
Whilst making your boss look stupid in front of your work collegues or scoring the winning touchdown in your football grandfinal might give you a temporary sense of being in control, living your parents life plan will never give you a complete experience of being fully in control of your life.
This is because that experience of being the complete master of your reality can only come from knowing the kind of future you want to create and being able to take consistent action towards that future.
Your parents life plan doesn’t make room for that.
In the same way that your parents life plan with never be fulfilling, following someone else’s direction and only taking action that moves towards that direction doesn’t give you room to come up with your own end point or take action towards it.
Your parents life plan will never leave you feeling powerful or in control. If you ever want to feel like the master of your own destiny, you need to drop it.

7. Our parents life plan will never be exciting
The formula for excitement is simple: lean through fear in a safe way.
When you challenge yourself in a safe, the adrenalin kick that comes with pushing through fear is coupled with dopamine and you feel excited.
How much of your parents life plan involves leaning through fear?
Sure, you might get a small rush when you do your first presentation to the manager of the small marketing firm you’ve just joined.
Sure, your man parts might get a little ticklish (you can get a cream for that) when you go on a blind date with a friend of the receptionist at your work.
But how long will that excitement last for?
How exciting will your 14th presentation be?
How exciting will the 40th be?
How exciting will your nights on the couch with Ms. Blind Date be when you’ve been together for the last 2 years because you’re both afraid of being alone to break up?
Your parents life plan only has a small amount of room for challenge and excitement and once you’ve gone through those small moments, it all dies away.
How much excitement are you going to experience when you turn up to the same uninspiring job, day after day?
How much excitement are you going to experience when you end up at the same pub, every Friday night, because everyone else from your office can’t be bothered to try anything new?
How much excitement are you going to experience by sitting on the side lines, watching the women you crave hook up with the guys who have the balls to push through their fear and talk to them?
Your parents life plan will never be exciting. If you ever want to escape the boredom and frustration of mundane repetition, you need to drop it now.

8. Living our parents life plan means we will never make a difference to someone else’s life
How can you ever hope to show someone how to break free from their self imposed chains and express themselves completely and openly when you can’t do it yourself?
How can you ever hope to teach someone how to have more excitement in their life if you can’t do it yourself?
How can you ever hope to show someone how to forge deep, real, and powerful connections with other people if you can’t do it yourself?
Being able to make a difference to someone else’s life starts with being able to make a difference to your life.
Sure, you might be able to talk the talk but you’ll never be able to walk the walk.
And if you can’t walk the walk, you’ll never be able to show others how to do it.
Living your parents life plan means that you will never be able to make a real difference to someone elses life because you won’t be able to make a difference to yours.
You’ll be too busy doing what you’re supposed to do without ever being able to do what you really want to do.

9. Our connections will be superficial
The deepest and most real connections you will form with anyone is when you share something real and deep about yourself and they recognise and accept you with that and can share a similarly real and deep.
If you waste your life on your parents life plan, this will not be an option.
Firstly, you won’t know what is real and deep for you because you never have to consider it. You’ll spend your time living to someone else’s moral code and following their goals and aspirations and never have any time or need to consider your own.
Secondly, even if you did know what was real and deep for you, because you’ve conditioned yourself to play safely inside the lines of socially acceptable behaviour, you’d be too afraid to share them r fear of being labelled a weird.
On top of that, the only people who’re going to want to hang out with you are other people who’re following their parents life plan and they’re not going to have anything real or deep to share back.
Because of this, even if you were able to get in touch with what is real and deep for you and share it openly, you wouldn’t be able to find anyone else who you can connect with.
Following your parents life plan is the simplest and easiest way to never experience a deep and real connection with another person. If you want to know what it really feels like to connect so deeply with another person that you find it hard to distinguish between their experience and your experience, you need to drop it now.

10. We will leave a legacy of mediocrity for our children
If you do follow your parents life plan and are able to find an equally dependent partner to join you and breed with you on your mediocre life, the legacy you leave for your children will be one of mediocrity.
All they will grow up knowing is that the way to live is by someone elses rules.
Your children will grow up thinking that their future lies tied to desk in a frustrating job, stuck with a woman who likes you less than you like her, going on group holidays to over-priced destinations that only serve to illuminate the vast gap between the life you want and the life you have.
Is that the kind of legacy you want to live for your children? Is that the kind of father you want to be?
Living your parents life plan is the fastest and easiest way to convince your children that they can never be anything more than what societies tells them they can be. It’s the simplest way to convince them that there place in life is predetermined and they can never hope to rise above it.
If this isn’t something you want to do, you need to drop your parents life plan now.

11. You will regret it on your death bed
I’m not going to lie to you, I’ve never been close to death. I’ve never stepped towards the light or been in a situation with the possibility of death was right in my face.
So, for me to tell you that you will regret this on your death bed and know it with any kind of certainty would be impossible.
But other people have sat with the people as they drift further and further off the mortal coil and can tell you what they’ve said.
And if you’re anything like them, as the last flutters of your heart are fading into nothingness, you be able to taste the resentment and frustration that living your parents life plan brings.

In Conclusion
If you’ve made it this far and still aren’t convinced that it’s the right way to go, then I’m either a miserable failure at conveying the pain and frustration ahead or you’re a sucker for punishment.
Which ever path you choose to follow, I wish you the best of luck, because it’s your life and your choice and always will be.

Everyone Living With Their Parents Will
Recognise
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1.Coming home after a long day and having your parents try to control how you live your life.

2. Or even worse when they’re unsure about how they want you to live your life.

3. So you try to live by your parents’ rules… even though it doesn’t always work out.

4. And sometimes those rules really affect your social life.

5. But even when you are at home, it’s hard trying to work around your family.

6. Like when you forget that you can’t be as messy as you want.

7. And you often get forced into social situations you hate to be in.
8. So you ~try~ to escape and get some privacy by staying in your room and it becomes a problem too.
9. Your parents often send you mixed signals about your spending.
10. They guilt trip you into contributing but when you try to give money for rent they refuse.
11. So you try to pull your weight around the house in other ways but that backfires.
12. You stress like crazy when you forget to do the jobs you were actually asked to do.

13. You always try extra hard to be courteous when everyone’s sleeping…

14. …and that favour isn’t always returned.
15. Your mother tends to drive you crazy
16. Because you have to deal with her forever-changing attitude.
17. And because she decides how you get your mail delivered.

18. You tend to just struggle to exist without annoying her.

19. But you remember that your parents deal with a lot of your shit and that living at home isn’t all that bad.

20. And you have to just accept the fact you’re probably going to be there for a while.

We all need to introspect for our own selves and try and analyze these points. We will understand that where this path will lead us at the end. Today, if we are treating our parents in such miserable ways, then we must remember that tomorrow even we have to grow old. No one on this land has had that nectar for staying young throughout their lives. Old age will come to us also and then we must be ready in case we have to face the same brunt from our children. This is true because our children will also learn from what we are doing. That day we will realize our mistake and probably it would have been too late.
respectyourparents1e0e332f32ed20c5736642f2dbec16b11408167earticle-0-031C9158000005DC-455_634x400Screenshot_2016-01-26-23-49-42-1[1] we can see teachers and schools emphasize on parents role in education of their children.

back into life. hence we can see those kids who do not have parents are a bit depressed in life as they have none to share their sorrow and achievements. Hence parents taking divorce also have tremendous effect on children. Also they teach them spirituality, prayer and other aspects needed in life.
d in child development.Without parents it would be very tough for any one to have a better life.
Parents are the sole people from whom a child can expect unconditional love.
Without them he is unfulfilled in life. He becomes a loner and faces many hardships in life.

Since human is a social animal, just like food and air, love and care are another elements which are absolutely necessary. They are the people who share you happiness and sorrow equally. If you weep they do and if you laugh they do.
Many people have good or sufficient financial support only because of parents. This helps them to perceive education and other hobbies without worry or having to work for making a living. This financial support also puts them ahead in the start up with reference to business or position in the companies. Hence many young people in the level of directors or other higher posts in a company are children of the company founders.

Parents give moral support to the child in case of failure. During some accident or love failure or divorce, having parents besides is a great boon. They provide instant moral support and strength to tackle the situation. They are the people whom can console you and put back into life. hence we can see those kids who do not have parents are a bit depressed in life as they have none to share their sorrow and achievements. Hence parents taking divorce also have tremendous effect on children. Also they teach them spirituality, prayer and other aspects needed in life.

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